4. Time is an illusion
Guess what, the first new thing I learnt during my sabbatical is that time is an illusion. As Eckhart Tolle writes: “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”………… silence……….
What have I been thinking all this time? …….more silence………
The first week of my sabbatical I had spend one day at the spa, a massage and sit in the park the second day and a therapie session on the third. I stopped drinking coffee, which made me really tired initially and banned alcohol and late night snacks. I had to get stronger and quit with the consolation habits. I was in recovery mode from a very stessfull period since our summer break I had ended up in a situation at work with several unplanned events that took up all my time. I had been onboarding my successor and in the last week had many good bye sessions. And I do not like good byes. My head was one big blur. I slept a lot.
The second week I went on a retreat for 5 days. And this is where it happened. I started to get clarity. We spend our days in silence, had meditation and yoga sessions twice a day and a session on the here and now. Just be. We were in this beautifull nature park and I spend the afternoons with leasurely walks or riding my bike. On top we had this wonderfull self prepared healthy food and many good nights sleep. It was so great to feel every step, to enjoy every second of silence and to taste every bite of food. It seemed that colors were so much brighter and sounds so much more beautifull. Life felt so rich that way. I realized that off course during these ideal circumstances it was much more easy to live in the now. But I was wondering if I could not just have the faith that I would be able to continue to focus on the now and do my exercises every day. Be aware, present as much as possible every day. Things were really so much less complicated that way. And with the clarity in the present moment I would know what to do. I would know what was right. Or at least more often as I was getting better at having that awareness. When you are in the present moment you can really sense that there is no pain, that there is no worry. There only is. The following starts to make sense: All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence. – Eckhart Tolle.
In the few weeks since I have been doing my daily practice, sometimes more sometimes less. It has been so much easier to focus on one thing, like writing these posts. With the yoga I have been able to get the stiff muscles in motion and more flexible. I have taken on leasurely running again and were are eating mostly vegetarian and a lot of vegetables. I am working on the health of my mind and am starting to be more foregiving for myself and others. If change is needed it has to start with me and it has to happen in to now. Not tomorrow or next week. In all I was starting to get more healthy, more fit and less grumpy. And the great thing is, the now is always there if you care to notice!
This was post number 4. If you enjoyed reading it, please come back or have a look at my previous posts. I am curious to hear from you, so please leave your comments.